Jul
20
20
Zombie Army Review: Low G Man
Low G Man on the Nintendo Entertainment is the story of, well, Low G Man. What did you expect? The entire back story to the game is that there is a robot producing planet where everything is just fine until “they” come (Yes, the game really refers to the enemy as “they”).
No word on who "THEY" are or what they're doing... When in control of Low G Man (the Low Gravity Man), you can jump to extreme heights and impale robot enemies with your spear. You can also stun them with your freeze gun and pick up other weapons along the way. You’ll also receive power ups throughout the game which lengthen your spear or increase the damage your weapons inflict. The concept of the game as a whole is pretty neat.
The first thing you’ll notice about Low G Man is that the music is absolutely awesome. Most every stage in this game has a memorable background tune. Even the title screen jingle is great. I actually love the music to Low G Man so much that I have it on my MP3 player. Yeah, it’s that good.
The graphics are decent for the NES. The animation isn’t that great, but that’s alright. The backgrounds are detailed, some of the bosses look cool, and Low G Man looks like Phoenix Wright!
Low G Man: Anti-Gravity savior by day, professional attorney by night!
Who would have thought that Phoenix Wright likes to wear strange goggles and stab robots in his spare time?
As cool as it is that this game sports a beautiful soundtrack, decent graphics, and our favorite Capcom attorney impaling robots with spears, those things cannot make up for the serious and many problems this game has.
The biggest problem is the controls. No matter what weapon you choose, if you press attack + up or down, you use your spear.
I often found myself wanting to shoot up when I could only shoot forward, or spear forward when I could only spear up. It also doesn’t help that, since you ARE the Low Gravity Man, you jump like you’re on the moon. Most moves in this game require precision and accuracy which you don’t have. Many times, you’ll either find yourself jumping too far forward or too far backward or straight into the path of an enemy projectile. The controls are so sensitive that rocking the directional pad to center your landing only worsens your chances of getting your feet on solid ground.
The uninspired levels you have to jump through are full of bland enemies which move in either a circular formation, chase you, or just have a random movement pattern. As easy as that sounds, these enemies are actually incredibly hard to dodge and defeat. This is partially due to the bad controls and the fact that your weapons suck so much.
There is no way to get a weapon which shoots up, unless you have the boomerangs or the bombs. The boomerangs shoot forward and up and come back, but you don’t get these weapons right at the beginning of the game. Even if you do get them, they don’t do enough damage. The bombs also suck. There may be other weapons, but frankly I never finished the game because the piss-poor controls and awful weapons made the game so incredibly difficult that it just wasn’t worth finishing.
The power-ups are also a real pain to deal with. When you manage to get all of the power-ups (except for the red vile) the game gets a LOT easier. Easier, that is, until you get to the bosses.
For example, the first stage main boss is some giant ass robot you have to climb inside to defeat. While you’re inside, the boss fires bubbles (yes, bubbles) at you which reduce your health if you touch them. Also, the platforms you have to jump on to get to the top of the robot hurt you unless you freeze them, and so do the spikes on the side of the robots can hurt you if you decide to jump out of the robot and accidentally touch them. What a complicated boss for the first stage!
By the way, that red vile I mentioned earlier is poison. If you touch it, you get hurt. It comes out of some enemies when you kill them and it looks just like the health vile. The only difference between the two is that the health vile is purple and the poison vile is sort of a magenta color. Basically, the poison vile is in the game just to trick you when you’re in hurry or not paying attention. Every power up falls through the floor unless you get it, so you’re going to be in a hurry to get whatever it is that the enemies leave behind. Is there any way Taxan could have possibly made this game more un-fairly difficult?
Oh, yes. Some games like Super Mario Brothers or Sonic the Hedgehog have checkpoints. These checkpoints are designed so that, if you die, you can pick up where you left off. Low G Man doesn’t have that feature so If you die, you have to start all the way at the beginning of the stage. On top of that, if you lose all of your lives, you lose your power ups and weapons. That’s fine, but your victory in the game pretty much relies on the fact that you have a few certain weapons. Unfortunately, these weapons are too hard to come by if you die or use continues. It’s for those reasons and the others listed above that this game is absolutely too difficult.
Difficult isn’t a bad thing, but poor game design is.
Do yourself a favor and find a copy of the soundtrack to Low G Man somewhere. Almost every song on this soundtrack (especially the good ending) is an absolute masterpiece. However, skip the game. Don’t make yourself save some fictional planet using an amateur superhero that doesn’t know how to use his weapons and can’t aim his jumps properly.
We may as well just off ourselves right now. We're fucking doomed.
No word on who "THEY" are or what they're doing... When in control of Low G Man (the Low Gravity Man), you can jump to extreme heights and impale robot enemies with your spear. You can also stun them with your freeze gun and pick up other weapons along the way. You’ll also receive power ups throughout the game which lengthen your spear or increase the damage your weapons inflict. The concept of the game as a whole is pretty neat.
The first thing you’ll notice about Low G Man is that the music is absolutely awesome. Most every stage in this game has a memorable background tune. Even the title screen jingle is great. I actually love the music to Low G Man so much that I have it on my MP3 player. Yeah, it’s that good.
The graphics are decent for the NES. The animation isn’t that great, but that’s alright. The backgrounds are detailed, some of the bosses look cool, and Low G Man looks like Phoenix Wright!
Low G Man: Anti-Gravity savior by day, professional attorney by night!
Who would have thought that Phoenix Wright likes to wear strange goggles and stab robots in his spare time?
As cool as it is that this game sports a beautiful soundtrack, decent graphics, and our favorite Capcom attorney impaling robots with spears, those things cannot make up for the serious and many problems this game has.
The biggest problem is the controls. No matter what weapon you choose, if you press attack + up or down, you use your spear.
I often found myself wanting to shoot up when I could only shoot forward, or spear forward when I could only spear up. It also doesn’t help that, since you ARE the Low Gravity Man, you jump like you’re on the moon. Most moves in this game require precision and accuracy which you don’t have. Many times, you’ll either find yourself jumping too far forward or too far backward or straight into the path of an enemy projectile. The controls are so sensitive that rocking the directional pad to center your landing only worsens your chances of getting your feet on solid ground.
The uninspired levels you have to jump through are full of bland enemies which move in either a circular formation, chase you, or just have a random movement pattern. As easy as that sounds, these enemies are actually incredibly hard to dodge and defeat. This is partially due to the bad controls and the fact that your weapons suck so much.
There is no way to get a weapon which shoots up, unless you have the boomerangs or the bombs. The boomerangs shoot forward and up and come back, but you don’t get these weapons right at the beginning of the game. Even if you do get them, they don’t do enough damage. The bombs also suck. There may be other weapons, but frankly I never finished the game because the piss-poor controls and awful weapons made the game so incredibly difficult that it just wasn’t worth finishing.
The power-ups are also a real pain to deal with. When you manage to get all of the power-ups (except for the red vile) the game gets a LOT easier. Easier, that is, until you get to the bosses.
For example, the first stage main boss is some giant ass robot you have to climb inside to defeat. While you’re inside, the boss fires bubbles (yes, bubbles) at you which reduce your health if you touch them. Also, the platforms you have to jump on to get to the top of the robot hurt you unless you freeze them, and so do the spikes on the side of the robots can hurt you if you decide to jump out of the robot and accidentally touch them. What a complicated boss for the first stage!
By the way, that red vile I mentioned earlier is poison. If you touch it, you get hurt. It comes out of some enemies when you kill them and it looks just like the health vile. The only difference between the two is that the health vile is purple and the poison vile is sort of a magenta color. Basically, the poison vile is in the game just to trick you when you’re in hurry or not paying attention. Every power up falls through the floor unless you get it, so you’re going to be in a hurry to get whatever it is that the enemies leave behind. Is there any way Taxan could have possibly made this game more un-fairly difficult?
Oh, yes. Some games like Super Mario Brothers or Sonic the Hedgehog have checkpoints. These checkpoints are designed so that, if you die, you can pick up where you left off. Low G Man doesn’t have that feature so If you die, you have to start all the way at the beginning of the stage. On top of that, if you lose all of your lives, you lose your power ups and weapons. That’s fine, but your victory in the game pretty much relies on the fact that you have a few certain weapons. Unfortunately, these weapons are too hard to come by if you die or use continues. It’s for those reasons and the others listed above that this game is absolutely too difficult.
Difficult isn’t a bad thing, but poor game design is.
Do yourself a favor and find a copy of the soundtrack to Low G Man somewhere. Almost every song on this soundtrack (especially the good ending) is an absolute masterpiece. However, skip the game. Don’t make yourself save some fictional planet using an amateur superhero that doesn’t know how to use his weapons and can’t aim his jumps properly.
We may as well just off ourselves right now. We're fucking doomed.
Posted by: BUDDY
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